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vexingholmes:

occupation: inappropriate friend who makes sexual jokes despite being a fucking virgin

"Fucking virgin"

#words

(via obsethsed)

Source: vexingholmes
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alcoholicgifts:

ecofrat:

me gettin stabbed as usual

"lol what can you do"

alcoholicgifts:

ecofrat:

me gettin stabbed as usual

"lol what can you do"

(via nickel-eye-broke-the-zoom)

Source: shovel2
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alpacalypse:

yes I’m going to put all of the stuff that’s on my floor ONTO my bed so I’m forced to sort it out and clean before i sleep

[7 hours pass]

bedtime !! *slides everything on the bed onto the floor*

(via judgethelieyoulivein)

Source: alpacalypse
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Hey people of Scotland just a little thing I heard

Bring your own pen when you vote because apparently they’re only providing pencils so they can change the votes so yeah bring a pen

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teamgif:

andrvw:

teamgif:

andrvw:

people who drink the left over milk in their cereal bowls are SICK FUCKS

I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE FROM BUT HERE IN MELBOURNE WE DONT WASTE MILK GOD DAMN IT I AM SO MAD THAT SHIT EXPENSIVE 

is your caps lock broken or are you really this passionate about milk

milk is the only thing i have left

(via mrsbrianjohnson)

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designerbydaykittenbynight:

trying to be angry at your crush be like…

(via macfarlaneseth)

Source: designerbydaykittenbynight
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tiredestprincess:

ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”

(via mrsbrianjohnson)

Source: tiredestprincess
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# still the best moment in a tv show ever

(via mrsbrianjohnson)

Source: princesconsuela
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jenxmalone:

mydogsnokes:

Tbh the worst part of this website is queue puns

fuqueue

(via this-is-my-spot-so-fuck-off)

Source: mydogsnokes